Starting over doesn’t look the same for any of us.
Career transition.
Relationships.
Home.
Identity.
As I ask you this, anyone reading it, it's almost 6 a.m. on the East Coast. The moon is in its waning gibbous phase— a period often associated with reflection, release, and letting go.
After 10 years with someone whom I’ve loved, plus all the career transitions, moving, friendship loss, and family loss, my life is starting over.
There’s a sadness in the air around me, and, at the same time, an excitement for what’s to come. It’s always so interesting how what we feel can exist in multiple ways.
Being who I am, I understand loss is a part of starting over.
Starting over can feel like a loss. It can make you question the decisions you’ve made and where you’re going. You may question why you’ve stayed in a space for so long. Sometimes the hardest thing isn’t starting over; it’s letting go of what no longer feels right.
No one is exempt from change. It’s a shared thread we all experience constantly.
I find that as a Behaviorist, Coach, and Spiritualist, when we begin creating the life we actually want, one rooted in peace and centeredness, things will inevitably fall away.
How do you know when the environment you’re in no longer supports you? What do you feel regularly? What do you see happening? What would peace look like in your life?
You have to put one bag down to pick up another. You only have two hands.
We all have dreams and goals we want to pursue, whether it be in love, career, or hobbies, but at the center of anything, yourself has to be okay, and when it’s not, what do you do?
I recognized how negative my life was and how I felt. The constant disbelief, even though the proof was right there. The consistent microaggressions from someone I loved. The overzealous expectations of perfection that no one was trying to achieve but me it seemed. Projections that weren’t my true feelings.
For example, when you recognize that your life has been surrounded by some of the most negative and self-sabotaging behavior, how can these pursuits grow? How can we expect anything to grow in environments that constantly push against it? Nothing grows in stifled energy.
When I started my coaching business in 2024, I knew what I wanted to do with it, why, and how beneficial it is; what I didn’t calculate until I looked back at an experience was that it would require me to start over from the ground up. My life wasn’t reflecting the space for my business to grow, or myself for that matter, and that was a painful realization.
It’s bittersweet.
I had to leave behind anything that was stifling my growth simply because it wasn’t growing or supporting me. When you’re an entrepreneur, you NEED support. That is how you grow and sustain your livelihood.
Just like we create support networks in other areas of our lives, business requires that.
Support isn't a luxury when you're building something new. It's part of what makes growth sustainable.
I was trying to be everything for everyone while still bringing something to life, and no one was everything to me.
(Everything also doesn’t mean EVERYTHING for anyone who don’t see nuance)
One of the last conversations my wife and I had was that she was sorry she didn’t support me even when she knew that that was what I needed.
For me, this has been a lesson in self-trust, not just trusting what I think, but paying attention to what I repeatedly feel, experience, and observe.
I ask you this: What are you trying to bring into the next chapter that doesn’t need to come with you?
And there’s no love lost towards my previous environment it taught me what I needed to understand, so now what does starting over look like?
————-> I find that, allowing myself time to grieve while taking charge of my life, taking things slow while being consistent. There’s a duality I felt,
I’m still figuring it out myself, but I have a starting point. I know what peace looks like and how that feels on several levels. I have a plan without it being rigid.
But I know this:
I don't want a life that is so strained and stuck in one way. Does that make sense?
Starting over, for me, is building a life from a place of peace, instead of survival. Of choosing relationships that have room for reciprocity and love. Of creating a business that is growing, and generating solutions to help women own their Goddess .
I come back to this often, but maybe starting over isn’t about becoming someone new; it's about finally creating enough space to become who you've been all along.